Awareness

Taken just before my daughter's wedding. I missed the wedding.

I could not stay awake. I was rushed to the hospital shortly after

speaking the words, "...her mother and I do," as I gave my daughter

away. At least I'll be able to see the video of her wedding.

I am convinced that one of the main keys to a better memory is vigilant "awareness" 24/7. That level of awareness is difficult to maintain. I created this post to record my experiences after a phone call from my Neuropsychologist, who had to cut short his testing session the other day because his session is designed to take four hours, but my mental focus "window" is only about two hours between naps. 

At my test, I started out performing better that most healthy people, but quickly crashed until the doctor said it was pointless to continue. 

That happened at about the half-way point of the four-hour test. I was beginning to have difficulty speaking, I had switched from solving equations mathematically, to solving them using visual proportions, which meant my answers were in the ball park, but were no longer precise. I made the switch, because I could feel that part of my brain shutting down. By the time he called off the rest of the testing session, I had to take a nap before Audra and I could head home. 

Now he wants to start the test over, asking me to once again allow four hours for the test. He scheduled the test earlier in the day, which means I have to make arrangements to ensure Jonathan knows he must walk to work that day, or get a ride. Audra will need to cancel any plans she has to come with me, because I cannot drive out of town alone. 

Then I noticed the new appointment was scheduled one day AFTER my Social Security Disability hearing. One of the reasons I needed this testing was to provide evidence for that hearing. So, having been reminded of the disability hearing, I looked at my calendar entry for the hearing, realized it is in Central time, while I live in the Eastern time zone. The Lawyer wants to meet with me an hour before the hearing. I was pretty sure that meant everything would be an hour later by my watch than my appointment with the lawyer and the court time, especially since the Lawyer commented our meeting would be about an hour before the court appointment. (This is an all-day hearing in which many cases will be heard. What are the chances I will even be conscious during my hearing?)

So.... I looked up the time zone information and verified I was correct that I would have an extra hour to get to the hearing. I tried to look up directions to the Court house to make sure my planning was allowing enough time. I have no recollection of the following events. The next thing I knew, I was seeing a message on my screen thanking me for choosing to install the "White Cloud" toolbar. (WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!!!?) I made sure my anti-malware was on-the-job. It prevented the program from writing to the registry, and prevented the program from creating an auto-start, but the toolbar had already appeared in Chrome. I immediately used Chrome's tools to disable the tool bar and delete it. Then I searched and found two programs with the name "White Smoke." Now I'm waiting for another program to search my registry for any references to the white smoke program folder....

...and I still haven't informed Audra that I just ruined at least two of her days next week, or told Jonathan he will need rides to work two days next week...

I sure hope I remember to do that. I'm getting very tired. 

Audra just scolded me for not feeding the cat today. He should be fed shortly after I get up. I answered, but it can't be that late. I'm not awake yet....

Oh yes. I still need to get those directions....